Finding Happiness...Here's How!

I found this on pinterest and realized why I'd been happier lately.  I was following this brilliant (unnamed) person's advice, though I hadn't even heard it before.

I've noticed that when one area of your life starts to flourish, another one is tanking. It makes sense, since you can't be 100% committed to everything all the time (which goes back to my second post about managing your time). We have to figure out what is most important and focus our energy/time/passion there. But you can't say "family" and then give that 100% and neglect everything else. Trust me, it won't work.

Instead, try the advice above and find a few hobbies you like.

1. I wish we were all able to make money via a beloved hobby; unfortunately, this is a rare blessing. If you have it-CONGRATS! If you don't, see if one of your hobbies can turn into some extra spending (or giving) money. It's an amazing validation that you really are good at that skill and turns a hobby into a valued profession.
2. Now, I will admit I'm taking the "keep you in shape" a bit figuratively and assuming it means both physically AND mentally. ;)  One of my hobbies lately is keeping current on writing for the web.  This is great for hobbies (like writing this blog) but also for the writing I do professionally.
   
   This probably also encompasses physical shape, though, and I can attest to the fact that when I am moving more, I feel better. When I was making time for my runs 3-4x/week, I felt like my stress levels are lower and my patience levels are higher. If you have kids, I would highly recommend twenty minutes of complete and utter silence...and what better way to multi-task (which every mother I know is required to be proficient in) than to jog or bike alone (or silently with a friend) and have the added benefit of physical exercise and increased endorphins! Win for you and for your family, who will appreciate the new (more serene) version of mom.
3. Ah...to be creative.  If you're on pinterest or instagram, you may have noticed all the phases people go through of creative hobbies. For me, September was sunset photos, October was fashion, November has been re-learning the art of crocheting. It's okay to bounce around...that keeps things fresh and fun. And don't be scared to try something new, even if it's just for a month. You might find that you like it and maybe it will turn into something that fulfills requirement 1 or 2!  

The circle of happiness! :)

The Beauty in Giving

In the same vein as my last post, does money really buy us happiness, I'm asking you to watch this video. It might not bring you to a higher level of happiness; in fact, it might make you cry.  But I've never seen the message delivered this beautifully before: 

TEXT:
"what does he get in return..? He gets nothing. He won't be richer. Won't appear on TV. Still anonymous. And not a bit more famous. What he does receive are emotions. He witnesses happiness. Reaches a deeper understanding. Feels the love. Receives what money can't buy. A world made more beautiful.
And in your life? What is it that you desire most?"

Think about that.  What do you desire most?  A new car, a bigger house, a new pair of shoes, the latest iPhone...whatever it is...if you got it, would you EVER achieve the level of happiness that is visible when he sees the young girl in her school uniform?  When he sees the crabby, over-worked older lady smile and give extra to a customer?

So many times, the world tells us what will make us happy. Advertising spends BILLIONS convincing us that we need this product or that life.  What if they are wrong?

I'd like to start trying to live the simple kind of life in this video; where less is more and searching for a way to help and make an impact is how I "shop".

money CAN buy happiness

I think we've all said this to ourselves at one point or another; "I know being rich won't make me happy...but I'd like to learn that lesson for myself."
And you've probably heard the horror stories of lottery winners whose lives were ruined.

Well, Michael Norton (a social science researcher) actually conducted a survey on how a little money impacted the short-term happiness of college students. I found the study incredibly interesting.
View his Ted Talk here.

Turns out, if you get a little bit of money to spend on anything you want, it doesn't really impact you. Or if it did increase your happiness level, it wasn't for long.  However, if you get a little bit of money and you GIVE IT AWAY, you are happier and for a much longer period of time.
And it was noted that the money didn't even have to be spent on anything super meaningful, they attained equal happiness whether they gave a Starbucks gift card or money for a medical procedure...just the process of GIVING brought happiness.

I'd like to test this out. :)
I am going to give away a $20 Starbucks gift card.  The catch?  It's not for you. :)  You will win it but then you get to give it to someone else.
So if you want a chance to find a little extra happiness this week, post a comment below with the name of the intended gift card recipient if you win. Then share this post with all your friends! It's important; their happiness level is at stake!
The winner will then get to write a post about how he/she felt sharing that gift.  Let's see if money really can buy happiness...when it is given away.
I will pick the winner Friday (4/18) at noon.  Good luck!

A Kristen Bell Sloth Kind of Happiness

I saw this video a couple years ago but I never forgot it.  Have you ever been this excited about something?  She has the joy and innocence of a child being surprised with their first trip to Disneyland! 

When I was pregnant with my second child, I wanted a girl so bad.  I adored my son (still do), but I wanted the dresses and fairy tales and PINK!  In my impatience, and upon the recommendation of a few friends, I bought a new ‘gender predictor’ test and at twelve weeks I got the results: BOY.  I knew this was our last baby and my hopes were dashed.  Six weeks later we went in for our ultrasound.  I wanted a healthy baby (of course) but I was also distracted by the tiniest flicker of hope I had never quite extinguished. 

The technician went through all the basics and I tried to pay attention.  When she asked if we wanted to know the gender, we said yes. When she said “it’s a girl,” I had a Kristen-Bell-sloth moment.  I started to cry and almost couldn't breathe. I covered my mouth in horrified excitement, looked at my husband and said, “I…but…we…oh [sob].”

I think my meltdown was complete disbelief that my childish dreams--which had seemed as fantastical as fairy tales--appeared to be coming true. I had the perfect family: mother/father, son/daughter, dog.  Coming from a divorced home, my dreams of a real family were fragile and I felt that the tiniest misstep could shatter them. But there was the word I’d dreamed of--the final piece of my puzzle--GIRL.

And now, I often have to remind myself of how much I wanted this; how before she was a stubborn, irrational, tantrum-throwing drama queen, she was my sloth. :)

Have you had a sloth moment?
Or are you still waiting for a fragile dream to become reality?

Something to Chase

You know an acceptance speech is good when it sticks with you. It's two weeks post-Oscars and I can't stop thinking about Mr. McConaughey and the velvety words that came from his mouth on that glorious award night.

He began with:

There's a few things, about three things to my account that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to, another is something to look forward to, and another is someone to chase.

Fast forward to his explanation of his 'someone to chase':

Now when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say "who's your hero?" And I said, "I don't know, I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks." I come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says "who's your hero?" I said, "I thought about it. You know who it is? It's me in 10 years." So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, "So, are you a hero?" And I was like, "not even close. No, no, no." She said, "Why?" I said, "Because my hero's me at 35." So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero's always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna attain that. I know I'm not, and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.

For many Americans, there is nothing that we love more than the chase. But to chase our future-self is unheard of! I often think about the Shannon of next year, sometimes even the Shannon of a few years down the road. But the Shannon of 2024... I haven't thought of her, ever. That is, until Oscars 2014.

To dream up my future self is exhausting. My sweet baby boy is 11. ELEVEN. I will had been at the same company for 20 years. Wait, nooo. This is my dream, right?

I'll have 3 kids, one who is not of my womb, but is loved exactly equally as the two who I birthed. We have a beautiful house with lots of land for the kids to run wildly, freely. I will have started my own business, designing invitations, announcements, prints... primarily focused around sweet chubby babies and celebrating the beauty of creation - fresh, baby-powder scented human life.

I'll have my own platform for distributing these little masterpieces. Etsy account? No, not courageous enough. Think... Tiny Prints, my very own Tiny Prints. An entire website devoted to matching card-stock art with the most precious occasions.

There it is, my something to chase. And oh how I want it. Matthew McConaughey is definitely onto something. When thoughts of the potential future, the very possible and obtainable future, can motivate and push us to achieve our dreams, then why don't we think more? Why don't we chase more? Let's put on those running shoes and get to chasing!

What's your something to chase? Sound off in the comments below.

Watch the full acceptance speech here.

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

There is nothing that makes me feel more loved and happy than when I have someone's full and undivided attention. *sigh*  Think about that for a moment and just savor the feeling: you, someone you really enjoy spending time with, and nothing else...just shared stories, laughter, and eye contact.

In today's world of electronics and autopilot multitasking, this is a rare occurrence! But are we really doing more by doing so many things all the time?

As Publilius Syrus said, "to do two things at once is to do neither." 

Since I am more aware of my clutter--and have sadly decided that Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram are within this category--I decided to declutter my life for an entire Sunday and offer the gift of undivided attention to my children.

I kept my phone buried in my pocket (except for one quick photo...see side pic) and did nothing but live in the moment.

We went to the mall for pretzels, balloons, and penny tossing in the "wishing well" then we headed to the neighborhood playground, kicked the soccer ball, rode bikes, chatted/played with the neighbors, and ran around with our dog.

At the end of the day, my son said, "Mom, this was my best day ever." And at dinner that night, when we did "good day/bad day" sharing, both my kids said, "I didn't have any bad today!"

They were elated, which made me elated.

When was the last time you were living in the moment?  When was the last time you gave someone your complete attention?

Such a simple gift but it might just mean the world to the person who receives it.

What are you doing with the time you have?

A friend recently shared this video with me and I found it inspiring enough to pass along.  

I realized that my natural optimism was diminishing and with good reason; the activities that inspire me were lost within my monotonous routine of sleep, work, family, eat, clean, repeat.

So after watching this video...and seeing the jelly bean pile get smaller and smaller...I was reminded of a quote:

"Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful, lest you let other people spend it for you."  

Carl Sandburg used coins, ZEFrank1 used jelly beans, Days of Our Lives used the hourglass...whatever your metaphor, the message is the same: THIS IS IT. The past is gone, the present is now; you cannot gain more time and you might have less than you think.  
So make the right decisions.  Set your priorities.  And continually examine your time budget.

I took my own advice (hey, it's been known to happen) and came up with a list of a) clutter and b) passions. Since then, I have been trying to decrease my clutter while increasing my passions.

And if something on your passion list is intimidating you, seek help! Having only done private blogging, I was hesitant to start something bigger. I reached out to a friend who has an endless amount of creativity and who pushes me to push myself. She gave me the nudge I needed to quiet the negativity and the courage to embrace the idea wholeheartedly.  [You'll hear more from her, as she has agreed to be one of my first collaborators. :)]     

So if you have a dream and you are hesitating--GET ON IT!

Find a friend or family member who believes in you and get that kick you need.  Or post below and I'll give you one. ;) 

Because no one else will make your dreams come true. That is all on you, my friend.

So....
What are YOU doing with the time you have?

Make a clutter and passion list and let me know what's on yours!

ELATE.

What inspires you?  What are you passionate about?  And what are you doing about it?

At the top of my list of passions was "inspiring others." What was I doing about it? I was blogging about once every 3 months...when I found the time and a topic. After having my life priorities questioned and then getting a swift kick in the rear from a good friend, I started this blog. 

I want to impact someone's life for the better.  How am I going to do this?  By sharing inspiring life advice, thoughts, and experiences with as many people as I can.

Working closely with a peer, we created the logo at the top to convey the intention of this blog.
Elate: "make (someone) ecstatically happy."

Working in collaboration with others, there will be something posted here weekly to encourage you to do more, to make you think differently, to challenge you to step out of your comfort zone, and to keep you smiling for days.  

Because life is too short to be negative.  I want you to be happy...no, ELATED. :)